The Seed inside of me
The Seed Inside of Me by Marisa DeAun talks about the roots of the author’s problems in writing this self-help book. By being as honest as possible, Marisa begins to set her plan in motion with each chapter giving an example of the struggles she faced, and how it ties with ours.
Marisa was molested by a distant relative around the age of eight, which became an integral part of the low self-esteem she had developed as a child, leading it to carry on in her adult life. As with most children who are abused, Marisa kept it to herself because she was afraid, and in her child-like mind, she believed the lie that it was her fault. Marisa was ashamed to tell anyone and didn’t talk about it until she had hit rock bottom when she ended her engagement in 2003 due to constant abuse.
After so many years, Marisa had finally realized how important it was for her to confront her issues, including her abuser. In her pain, she reached out to him, and the conversation went well. He apologized to her, and Marisa was able to forgive him. It was one of many things she had to face head-on and release to embrace the healing process. Marisa then understood that forgiveness is never about the abuser but about the abused. It set her free to learn more about God, herself, and true love.
Marisa would never have known who she was and what she could become without this process – by facing her ugly past head-on to get rid of it. She was forced to ask herself, “How did I get here?” She was faced with who she had become – a fearful, insecure little girl from many years ago that she had tucked away and had never dealt with. By taking a long look at herself and realizing that she was still crying out for the love she never knew, Marisa turned back to Christ, the Divine love that was always there, even when she didn’t realize it. Marisa learned that He is a God of love, peace, joy, and even forgiveness. His Word taught her that before she could love anyone or anyone could love her, Marisa had first to love herself and know who she was and her worth.
